I Suck at Girls

I Suck at Girls Human beings fear the unknown So whatever s freaking you out grab it by the balls and say hello Then it ain t the unknown any and it ain t scary Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier Fans of the

  • Title: I Suck at Girls
  • Author: Justin Halpern
  • ISBN: 9780062113375
  • Page: 391
  • Format: Hardcover
  • Human beings fear the unknown So, whatever s freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello Then it ain t the unknown any and it ain t scary Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier Fans of the 1 bestseller Sh t My Dad Says will recognize the always patient voice of Justin Halpern s dad as it crackles through the pages of this hysterical new book The s Human beings fear the unknown So, whatever s freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello Then it ain t the unknown any and it ain t scary Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier Fans of the 1 bestseller Sh t My Dad Says will recognize the always patient voice of Justin Halpern s dad as it crackles through the pages of this hysterical new book The story begins when Justin takes his dad out to lunch to announce that he s decided to propose to his girlfriend You ve been dating her for four years, his dad replies It ain t like you found a parallel fucking universe But eventually he gives Justin some advice that he should take a day off and think back over everything he s learned in life about women, relationships, and himself before making his decision And that s just what Justin does revisiting everything from his disastrous childhood crushes to the night he finally lost his virginity while working as a dishwasher at Hooters I Suck at Girls is full of his dad s patented brand of wisdom But it s also full of new characters just as funny as his dad from his brother, who provides insights into wedding night rituals You stand in one corner of the room, and she stands in the other You each take off one piece of clothing at a time to his first boss, who warns Justin to man up That s what a man does He takes his shots and then he scrubs the shit out of some dishes The result is a pilgrim s progress through the landscape of sex and love by one of the funniest writers at work today.

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      391 Justin Halpern
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      Published :2020-01-26T15:39:07+00:00

    About “Justin Halpern

    • Justin Halpern

      I m 29 I live with my 74 year old dad He is awesome I just write down shit that he says.In the pic, I am on the far right and dad is one the far left That s a friend between us.

    967 thoughts on “I Suck at Girls

    • I haven't read Sh*t My Dad Says yet, so I have yet to decide for myself if that one is funnier than this. However, my 16 year old son read this one and loved it, begged me to get Halpern's first book, and then said it was boring & DNF'd it.I'm thinking that may be because no matter what age a guy is, he can relate to girls and the suckage that follows in their wake.Sorry, fellasIf it makes you fellas feel better, we ladies have just as hard a time trying to figure out what the hell to do abo [...]

    • Find all of my reviews at: 52bookminimum/I Suck At Girls is Justin Halpern's sophomore novel, and the inspiration behind the short-lived television show Surviving Jack. I began watching said T.V. show for one reason . . . According to my family we all wanted to watch it because the commercials were so funny and made the show look entertaining, but . . . nope. I just wanted to spend 30 minutes looking at Christopher Meloni.Turns out the show was pretty funny too . . .It's a shame it got cancelled [...]

    • I actually enjoyed this more than Justin Halpern's famous Shit My Dad Says. Probably I took to it because it speaks to me on a personal level. I was an unfortunate participant in my own version of so many of the embarrassing moments of adolescence described herein. Also, it has a lot of bathroom/locker room humor and part of my brain is still 13.The book takes you from lil' Justin's first revelations on the concept of sex right up to his proposal of marriage. It felt like more of an autobio than [...]

    • Justin Halpern may suck at girls but one thing he does not suck at is choosing a good narrator. The narration here was superb, from the crotchety dad (the undisputed funniest part of the book) to the numerous Saturday Night Live skit-worthy girl voices. High comedy! But without question the best achievement was getting that perfect incredulous tone every time Justin said "What?" The number of times someone said something so out of left field, confusing, or totally inappropriate to Justin through [...]

    • This book is crass but hits close to that cynical home in most boys hearts. I listened to it - which I recommend you do at 1.5x as it made the voices the narrator did much better.I laughed out loud - nearby motorists probably thought I was crazy. I didn't want to get out of the car when I got home or to work. Because of that, 5 stars all the way!

    • Warning: before you pick up Justin Halpern's I Suck at Girls to read for the first time, be sure to set your coffee down. Failure to do so may result in some spilled beverage all over the book pages or your Kindle.You know, it really hurts when hot coffee spurts out your noseWithout dropping any spoilers, the author dedicates his newest book to Amanda, and it quickly becomes clear in the first chapter that she was his focus. Early on we find that he has decided to propose to her, so he goes to t [...]

    • I guess I must rather enjoy sophomoric humor of this nature, sometimes, as I was laughing hysterically at many of the lines. The one about when one door closes, another opens, almost gave my husband a fit.So yes, this is reeeeally funny, and the many voices of the talented audio narrator adds a lot as well. The father sounds very curmudgeonly, one of his Little League pals sounds like Eric Cartman, and the teenage girl voices are all amusing, with some sounding like Jimmy Fallon's "Ew" girl. Ver [...]

    • 3.5 stars Justin Halpern's book 'Sh*t My Dad Says' is very funny, so when this memoir was recommended on I decided to listen to the audio version. Halpern's anecdotes about incidents in his life - ranging from childhood through early adulthood - are very entertaining. Justin's dad again contributes some priceless bon mots, but most of the yarns focus on the author himself.I'll give some examples of stories in the book.Nine-year-old Justin, hearing about sex from a friend, gets worried about his [...]

    • After loving the random tweets from Justin Halpern I was ecstatic to read his debut full-length novel. Sh*t My Dad Says was absolutely hilarious and had me laughing profusely. Clearly, I was on board for anything else this man came out with.Unfortunately it was a pretty huge disappointment as far as what I was anticipating. I Suck at Girls chronicles the authors bad experiences with girls which dates back to his early childhood. Obviously the intention of these stories is humor; however, I ended [...]

    • **But he doesn’t suck at writing.**Perhaps Justin Halpern may have sucked at girls, but he certainly does not suck at writing. Just as was the case with his first book _Sh*t My Dad Says_, Justin’s writing is laugh-out-loud funny and underneath-it-all touching. After dating his fiancé Amanda for four years, Justin decides to propose to her. He enthusiastically shares his big news with his father who (in typical Halpern dad fashion) responds with: “I don’t know what you want from me. I’ [...]

    • "'When you're sweet on a woman, you do crazy shit. It happens. You ain't used to feeling that way about somebody.''I feel that way sometimes about Mom,' I said. 'What? No, you don't. Jesus, that's the creepiest goddamn thing you've ever said to me.'I read that little tidbit on the subway and snorted so loud I alarmed my neighbors. I'm sure by the time I got off, half of them were convinced I was watching porn (because when I wasn't laughing, I was grinning like a deranged clown) or suffering fro [...]

    • Basically, this book is about Halpern's (mostly non-existent or solo) love life from his teen years through proposing to his girlfriend. In his first book, Sh*t My Dad Says , his father was the star. The guy with the best and funniest lines. The same is true in I Suck at Girls- he's clearly riding on dad's coat tails.Like many wives, I'm always trying to get my husband to read more. That's the reason I bought Halpern's first book. It seemed like such a "guy" book. The same is true of this book w [...]

    • In I SUCK AT GIRLS, Halpern details childhood and adulthood incidents with the opposite sex. As the title promises, there’s plenty of awkwardness, some of it sweet since the author finds the love of his life. I was also glad to see Halpern’s father in the book, with his foul mouth and words of wisdom. It’s a hilarious read and I loved it just as much as Halpern’s first book, SH*T MY DAD SAYS. The saying “truth is stranger than fiction” can be applied to Halpern's work.

    • Not quite as humorous as Halpern's first memoir. This one focuses on Justin's love life or lack of one. It's a little on the juvenile side, but still a funny light hearted read. Just wish there had been more of his father's outrageously raw words of wisdom.

    • I really enjoyed Justin Halpern's first book S*it My Dad Says and found the humor in that book the be witty, direct and, although very cutting, often very insightful. So, I was eager to read this one. In this book, the author has recently decided to propose to his girlfriend. Having told no one of this plan, he goes to the one person who he knows will tell him, directly, what he thinks. His father doesn't skip a beat, tells him to wait a day and spend that time reflecting on everything he's lear [...]

    • When Justin Halpern decides the time has come to propose to his girlfriend, Amanda, he takes his father to lunch to discuss the decision and look for some fatherly wisdom and/or advice. For most of us, this would be fairly normal. But Justin's dad is the dad from S*** My Dad Says. After his father points out that the news shouldn't be a surprise to anyone, he then challenges Justin to take a moment and reflect on his various relationships with women before he makes the momentous move. Justin tak [...]

    • With some funny moments that got me to chuckle aloud - in public, even - some well-learned (if not terribly profound) insights, and his father's trademarked style of expression, this book has a lot to offer. I'd rate it higher if there was more of it. I finished it in under 2 hours, and it seems like Halpern is intelligent and contemplative enough to come up with more than this. Certainly, he could have told us more about his relationship with Amanda, the woman at whom he finally, apparently, do [...]

    • I'm pretty sure anyone passing by me in the car while listening to this thinks there is something wrong with me. So damn funny.

    • You may have heard of another book by this author, "S*** My Dad Says." The book started as a Twitter feed, became a best selling book, and then became a tv show staring William Shatner. A lot of this book is more "S*** My Dad Says" but there is a lot about the author's experiences in dating too.The advice and snippets that the author's dad actually says is awesome. It's so quick witted and funny, and most rings true. However, I think the snippets might be better as actual snippets, such as quick [...]

    • This was one of the funniest books I've read in a long time. It begins when the author treats his dad out to lunch and tells him he's decided to marry his girlfriend. His father's response:"You've been dating her for four years""It ain't like you found a parallel f--k-ng universe." The author's father goes on to advise him to take a day off and reflect on everything he's learned about women, relationships, and himself before coming to a decision. Thereupon the author takes us on a trip through d [...]

    • Justin is ridiculously funny. and a good writer, obviously. his writing makes the punchline even funnier.but enough with jokesmewhere along the second-last and the last story, i secretly hope that he will find a perfect woman for his sake (and of course he did). And after finished reading it, I smiled and know that what he experienced is probably how most of us will go through (well, except having a bunch of "advises" from his dad).oh, only 3 stars because i prefer "Shit My Dad Says" than this o [...]

    • Initially gave this a 4 because I love Justin's dad since Sh*t my dad says, and it's a good book. But realized a LOT is missing. What caused their big break up with Amanda? How did he resolve it enough to know she's the one? Or maybe that was besides the point of the book but I just wanted the book to be longer.Still hilarious though

    • I loved Shit My Dad Says and this was also pretty good! This was more stories rather than quotes like the first book but good nonetheless :) glad it ended well too

    • I really enjoyed this maybe even more than S--t My Dad Says. It is kind of a story telling of Justin's struggle with women though the years. I paid 5 bucks for it and I would do it all over again.

    • Short and hilarious. This book is an account of the dating history of the author and the second thoughts he had before proposing to his girlfriend of 3 years. Also added in are witty and sarcastic dialogues by his dad. It is also heartwarming to see the author stop trying to act and pretend to be cool but to learn to be comfortable being who he is, which is obviously cooler. Recommend for everyone, specially guys!

    • I didn't read Sh t My Dad Says, mostly because I object to the coarsening of public spaces that results from seeing the title at the book store, and then in the TV listings. I'm not some total prude; I'm not offended by adults sprinkling their language with expletives in private conversation, but I don't want to hear (or see) that language at McDonalds with a bunch of kids running around. As a result, I had an idea that Justin Halpern's Dad was some kind of narrow-minded, foul-mouthed Archie Bun [...]

    • Building on the success of his Twitter feed, best-selling book, and short-lived television series, Sh*t My Dad Says, Justin Halpern is back to reflect on his lack of success with women, which he can trace back to an early age. When he takes his father out to lunch to confide that he is planning to propose to his girlfriend of four years, Justin's father replies (as only he can), "You've been dating her for four years. It ain't like you found a parallel f--king universe."Eventually, his father re [...]

    • I was happily surprised with this book, and in fact thought it was much funnier and better written than 'Sh*t My Dad Says'. It shows his gruff old geezer dead actually has a soft heart. When Justin told him he wanted to propose to his girlfriend, he had some great advice."I took a day and I sat and thought about all the things I had learned about myself, and about women, up to that point in my life. Just sat and thought.I may have smoked marijuana as well.Anyway, at the end of the day, I took st [...]

    • 3.5 starsA humorous account of a man's history of interacting with the female sex. From grade school to adulthood, Justin Halpern agonizes over the mysterious nature of girls. A number of years ago I read Shit My Dad Says and found that book to be hilarious and heartfelt in an unconventional way. In I Suck at Girls, the Dad's sage humor still figures prominently in the book. The book isn't a single story per se but a series of chronological stories exploring Justin's insecurity in talking to gir [...]

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